Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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