well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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