bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
