Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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