Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Randomize
