I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
