need another drink. this is the easiest way
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
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