Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
