Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
