YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
