After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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