its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
