pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Randomize
