I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Randomize