he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize