Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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