jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
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