I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
We don't watch enough power rangers
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
