I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
