So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
