Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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