we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
