why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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