How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
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