i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I want a musical about memes.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
