you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
