2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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