She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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