She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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