mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
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