The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
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