YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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