Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
