he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
