Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
