everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
