Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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