I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
