if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Holy shit dude........stairs
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
