if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
And then my night got REAL pukey
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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