what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Randomize
