Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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