guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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