Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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