I'm so fucking centered right now
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
