Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
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No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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