Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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