i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
