I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
