Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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