My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
organizing the empties. That sober.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
