What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Let's paint friendship bongs
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
