its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
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