I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
