We're facebook friends in real life
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Randomize
