It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I just made out with a guy for $7.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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