There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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