I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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