I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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