he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
