Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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