Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I should be sponsored by Trojan
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
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