so that wasnt chicken after all
Don't make out with my wife yet
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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