i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
He kissed a someone with a penis
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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