id be glad to
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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