dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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