biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
